PDA (Public Display Of Affection)
Recently,
Public Display of Affection (PDA) has become a popular and debatable issue among Singaporeans due to its uprising ocurrence in public.
Here's a short clip of various PDA examples that was captured by the public.
In this week's coms lesson we have focused on the term perception.
Every individual perceive our surroundings, experience and communication differently.
It is due to the spectre of contrasting perceptions that we have, resulting in dissimilar views and variant actions that becomes a source of generating PDA acts.
In this case, we should ask ourselves...
Should PDA be tolerated in public?
What level of PDA should be accepted and should not be?
Where is the limit to PDA?
Should the government educate our people to behave discretely in public to share the same perception as those that believes PDA is wrong?
Is it wrong to invade people's privacy space by taking pictures or videos about their indiscrete act? By doing so, will it solve the issue?
Personally, I feel that PDA should be tolerated in public as people have their own rights and freedom to do what ever they want as long as they are not breaking the law. However, couples should have a limit to how they can show affection to one another. To me, hugging and kissing is my limit. Further than that is of course not accepted by me as i believe in discretion in public. Discretion is also another form of perception. In this case, both perceptions(PDA & Discretion) are linked to one another. I seriously believe that the government cannot do much about excessive PDA because as i said people have their individual rights. But if we invade their private space by capturing their indiscrete act of PDA in public, it might inform them that our society do not tolerate their actions and it might trigger a change in their perception.
What do you think?
posted by Matthew at
8:15 PM
13 Comments:
we all have our own perceptions about PDA. to some, PDA can just be holding hands or resting one's head on the other's shoulder. to those who have a "higher tolerance" of PDA, it can even involve groping. i was on the bus on the way to school one day when i encountered a very disturbing scene. the couple sitting in front of me was behaving like there were nobody around them. we all were treated to a free show. i will not go into furthur details. yes, it is not against the law or whatsoever to display such extreme affection for each other. but the couple should at least spare a thought for those around them, if not for their face. imagine getting caught by one of their close relatives. therefore, PDA may not be a crime in the eyes of the law, but it may leave a lasting and sometimes disturbing effect on those who just happen to be around them. =)
I agree that there are limits to how couples display affections in the public.No doubt that people do have their freedom and rights to how they wish to present themseleves in the public, but that does not mean that other people have to accept their actions. If couples do not wish to have their privacy being intruded, the more they should know their limits as they are being surrounded by people who also have the right to capture what they willingly display to the public.
Firstly, to have the government or any other official body establish whether PDA is right or wrong is unprofessional and uncalled for. If it is wrong, then we are against our own democratic values where the individual is open to exercise his or her own rights. Morever, to say that is wrong is to preach traditional asian values and undermine our multi-racial roots. On the other hand, to say that PDA is right and should be encourage will undeniably incur the wrath of parents and also cause us to seem pretentious in light of trying to be open and "western". Having said that, i believe that it should be left to the individual to set their own values. Let those who choose to exercise PDA continue to do so, as long as they do not interfere with your personal space. Besides, there are probably many voyeurs out there who enjoyed witnessing such scenes. For those who find ultimate disgust, turn away! Lastly, for the more conventional minds, think of it as them shaming themselves and have no part in it. Afterall, exhibitionism isn't illegal if they do not reveal obscenities. And there you have it, a solution for everyone!
i think it's all about cultural location.
pda is short for 'public display of affection', but what is affection to you may not be affection to me, so let's be specific.
hugging and kissing (between couples, not long lost relatives etc) in america would generally be considered acceptable; however, do that in a more conservative country such as malaysia and you might even be arrested for 'indecent exposure'.
and glory glory manutd 4-1 derby yeah!!!
I personally feel that couples should know their limits and see from the general public's point of view. I mean do things at the right place and right time! (what are hotels there for?) And should we take photos or videos of others? I think that since their act is already display in public, then couples that were caught in the act should just accept the consequences of their acts.
Seriously, there is n-o-t-h-i-n-g w-r-o-n-g with public display of affection (PDA). Wait, as long as you know your limits.
It is true that our little dot on the map is becoming more cosmopolitan and I guess, our behaviors have also been influenced to becoming more and more open. At the same time of realizing this issue, we need to keep in mind our roots and like what 杰 above have commented, we should look at our values.
Values are what you have been brought up with so, everybody's value is different. Upbringings are always changing so sometimes people who want to display such acts should keep it low because not everyone is the same.
Like the couple on the bus commented by bOn, should think how if there were kids on the bus. I mean I believe that it is a free country so, do whatever you want but, bear in mind there are PEOPLE!
PDA is becoming a common scene if the conservatives classify PDA as hugging. There is really no way to place a finger on this and find out what is the limit. The limit is up to any individual to determine where to too far.
Ultimately, as long as one dares to display such acts one should be responsible enough to own up and not be furious when they see themselves on the internet. At the end of the day it is the two individuals who are comfortable in showing such acts (even to the extent of groping) that should be comfortable if it is shown on the internet because, if already they are comfortable with a whole life audience what is an audience behind the screen?
However with so much said, my question to the next millionaire is are people creating a mountain out of a molehill or is the mountain in such a way that it is really so piercing to so many people out there?
enough said. (:
personally, i feel that there's nothing wrong pda. provided of course, you dont go overboard and get OVERLY affectionate. i think its all about being mature enough to draw your own limits and boundaries, and knowing how to act appropriately in public. yes its a free country, but if couples are free to openly display their acts of affection, they are equally open to be judged by the public too!
I am in a relationship myself and sometimes i feel it hard to not show my affection towards my boyfriend in the form of touch. But it is one responsibility to know when or what to do in the public.
Why is it so?
Someone may have just broken up with her bf and seeing a couple showing PDA may make this poor soul depressed and irritated.
Hence, even though a couple is in the peak of their r/s it is important that they should not neglect other people's feeling whom are around them.
Then we can count ourselves as good citizen! =D
Defining a topic such as PDA is bound to cause an uproar on both ends of the spectrum because first of all, no one can really define what PDA is. Yes no doubt, PDA is defined as the 'public display of affection', but what exactly is a display affection? For example, buying your significant other a soft toy while out in the mall in plain view of other mall-ers is in a sense a 'public display of affection'. Going along those lines, a peck on the cheek IS, a display of affection. With that thought in mind, lets refer to what others have said.
The post of netizen asphodeleyes particularly caught my eye. Block Quote :
"asphodeleyes said...
personally, i feel that there's nothing wrong pda. provided of course, you dont go overboard and get OVERLY affectionate. i think its all about being mature enough to draw your own limits and boundaries, and knowing how to act appropriately in public. yes its a free country, but if couples are free to openly display their acts of affection, they are equally open to be judged by the public too!"
Now here's an interesting question to ask after reading that; What is overboard and OVERLY affectionate? Here's what I mean; Not being able to define and in a sense underline the definition of PDA makes the statement of ''overboard and overly affectionate'' become very extremely vague. Why? Well, whats overboard? We live in a changing world. Not just talking about technology and time, but even culture and things we thought would ''never grow old''.
I personally am to a certain extent a conservationist as the world would describe me to be in certain areas, yet extremely liberal and to the extent radical in other topics. On this topic of PDA, I say no to it. Why? Well because no one is able to properly define what PDA is, and to what extent can we go! To me, a simple 3-second kiss out in public while waiting for something is more than enough of affection for the time being. The rest like the ''heavy petting'' as described by the video can simply wait till later like when we get home, etc. But there're others in Singapore, who believe that the kiss is just the beginning. After the 20-second long kiss comes to roaming-of-hands, followed by the groping of other objects and the extremely heavy petting. An innocent bystander watching could think he mistakenly boarded the ''wrong-train'' of some sort!
So, is PDA something that should be accepted into our culture in Singapore? I strongly disagree simply because until the phrase is properly defined and the lines properly drawn, citizens will never know what is 'right and wrong', and the topic of debate will never ever stop.
p.s.
Kudos to the-next-millionaire for the interesting topic brought up and the questions asked. I'll definitely come back and read more of your entries!
Personally i feel that couples have their own rights and freedom to do whatever they want anywhere. However they should be aware that their behaviours in public are open to the public's view and evaluation hence they should be responsible for their actions of intimacy and not go over a certain limit which would not provide an eyesore for the public.
However it's better not to display too intimate behaviours while in school uniforms as it always gives negative perceptions for parents who are considering to post their child in that school.
This topic, PDA, has attract many's attention. Personally, I think that hugging and kissing are perfectly fine in public. Just don't escalate to the next level. Those intimate behaviours will affect innocent bystanders.
Intimate behaviour doesn't reflect anything good about the ppl doing it. And it definitely shows you don't have much self-respect and consideration for others.
What if all those are caught on video? What are the consequences? What will happen to you and your family? It isn't anything to be proud of. Probably, should educate people on these issues. Actions like petting or even having sex should be done behind closed doors. Although we're in an open society and more westernize, intimacy is still something private, not shared with public.
I see words like "affecting the others negatively", "innocent people"," judged by the public " and etc. In what ways do these actions "affect" those around them a.k.a the public "negatively"? Sometimes i wonder, people keep saying that PDA makes people around these scenes feel umcomfortable? Have anyone ask themselves why would they feel uncomfortable? Do they have any good and valid reasons for being uncomfortable? Why do all these people feel uncomfortable? For example, if you are a married couple and you saw such acts, and you think it is unacceptable, are you telling me that what you did to you spouse is unacceptable and uncomfortable as well? If that's the case, then i've nothing better to say to you.
For the singles out there, seeing all this "uncomfortable" actions out there, will you swear upon your words that you wouldn't do it yourself?
This is reality, people.
Since you cannot control what you see, might as well accept it or like what 杰says, turn away like a loser and try to run from the fact that it's happening before you.
For me, i would totally say yes to PDA. You may say i'm the one doing it, or i am just a immature young brat, well, i'll be waiting for my own video on STOMP i guess.
Rather than video the PDA-ers down and posting them online and cause displeasure to both the involved parties and their loved ones, why not make it a more enjoyable ambiance without the need to worry that " some retards are going to video us down".
May Peace Be With Us.
i think PDA is wrong for couples in public,
so they can know their limits........:)
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